{"id":109785,"date":"2025-06-06T08:05:19","date_gmt":"2025-06-06T08:05:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/?p=109785"},"modified":"2026-02-27T23:29:44","modified_gmt":"2026-02-27T23:29:44","slug":"what-do-you-bring-to-the-table-a-bold-reflection-for-women-who-say-i-am-the-table","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/what-do-you-bring-to-the-table-a-bold-reflection-for-women-who-say-i-am-the-table\/","title":{"rendered":"What Do You Bring to the Table? A Needed Reflection for Women Who Say \u201cI Am the Table\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Sher Trott Bailey<\/a> a.k.a World Ruler<\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n\n
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Introduction: Why \u201cI Am<\/em> the Table\u201d Isn\u2019t the Answer<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

In modern relationship discourse ( American), one viral phrase echoes loudly: \u201cI am the table.\u201d<\/strong> Many women repeat it, often in defiance when asked a simple question by men seeking serious, long-term relationships:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cWhat do you bring to the table?\u201d<\/strong><\/h2>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

This response\u2014\u201cI am the table\u201d\u2014may feel empowering in the moment, but it’s a silly response. Let\u2019s take a step back. What is the table? What does this metaphor mean? And more importantly, are you, as a woman, really prepared to build<\/strong>, beautify<\/strong>, and sustain<\/strong> that table with a man?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s explore this question deeply and practically, without arrogance\u2014and with clarity. It’s important to do so because these silly responses and self-inflated ways of thinking tend to seep their way into the minds of women in other countries over time. Then this Americanized feministic way of thinking wreaks havoc against women and men cooperating and forming families.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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What Does \u201cThe Table\u201d Symbolize in a Relationship?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The table<\/strong> represents the relationship<\/strong> itself. It isn\u2019t pre-built, and it\u2019s not constructed by one partner alone. Let me repeat, the table is symbolic. It symbolizes the relationship. You come together with a man to build the relationship ( table). The table is not pre-built and it certainly is not built only by you the woman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A strong, enduring relationship\u2014like a finely crafted table\u2014is the product of two people coming together with complementary strengths, aligned values, and a shared commitment to build.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The real question isn\u2019t whether you are<\/em> the table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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The real question is:<\/strong> What quality of \u201cwood\u201d are you bringing to build that table?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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The Wood Analogy: Are You Mahogany or Plywood?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s use a simple analogy. Think of the table being built without nails<\/strong>, using only interlocking woodwork. The quality of the materials determines the table\u2019s strength.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  • Are you high-quality hardwood<\/strong> like mahogany or oak\u2014strong, reliable, beautiful, and long-lasting?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Or are you cheap plywood or particleboard<\/strong>, easily damaged, quick to chip, or only offering a surface-level appearance?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    Your character, mindset, and behavior will determine the quality of woman you are\u2014and in turn, the quality of man you attract and keep.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    Self-Reflection Checklist: Testing Your \u201cWood Quality\u201d<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Before claiming you’re \u201cthe table,\u201d evaluate your character<\/strong> honestly. Here\u2019s a checklist to determine what kind of woman you are right now<\/em>. Be brutally honest with yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u274c Red Flags \u2013 Signs of Low-Quality \u201cWood\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    If you say \u201cyes\u201d to many of the following, you may need a serious mindset shift:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    • Do you fold under pressure?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Are you a fair-weather partner?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Do you see men primarily as financial providers?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Do you support no-fault divorce simply because you\u2019re bored?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Did you divorce based on poor advice and ego?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Is it a dealbreaker to go without makeup, nails, or beauty enhancements?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Do you feel like you\u2019re \u201csettling\u201d if a man doesn\u2019t tick superficial boxes?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Do you have children but no commitment or structure with the father?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Do you judge men solely on looks or clothing?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Is your presence irritating, disruptive, or loud?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Are you a gossip, slanderer, false accuser, or an exaggerator?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Are you unreasonable and stubborn and under the delusion that such behavior is cute?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
    • Do you believe you deserve<\/mark><\/em> <\/strong>a high-quality man regardless of your own inner or outer quality?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

      If many of these ring true, that is, if the answers are mostly yes, you’re not hardwood\u2014you\u2019re splinter-prone sawdust pressed into a mold<\/strong>. But don\u2019t worry: wood can be refined<\/strong>. Growth is possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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      \u2705 Green Flags \u2013 Signs of High-Quality \u201cHardwood\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

      Check all that apply:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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      • Do you genuinely desire to be a wife?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Do you want to raise children with intention?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Do you have a clear vision for your role in a relationship?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Can you sacrifice joyfully for your family without resentment?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Can a man trust you with his fears, secrets, and ambitions?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Do you truly listen?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Are you open to correction without defensiveness?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Can you apologize sincerely and take accountability?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Do you stay faithful and reject thoughts of adultery?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Do you enrich your partner\u2019s life\u2014e.g., cooking healthy meals, offering emotional support, injecting humor, sharing wisdom?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Can your man count on you to stay when times get tough?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Can you run or even expand a household?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
      • Do you offer stimulating conversation but also know when to be quiet?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

        Even if you said \u201cyes\u201d to just half of these\u2014and you\u2019re committed to growth\u2014you\u2019re on your way to being high-quality hardwood<\/strong>. The secret to developing many of these traits is a relationship with the Trinity, that is, Jesus who saves your soul & spirit, the Holy Spirit who transforms your soul, which is your mind; he transforms your thinking- when Holy Spirit fills your soul then getting bat shit drunk every weekend at the party and whoring is no longer appealing. Holy Spirit’s function\/role is: to always be with you every minute in every small detail, day to day situation, ready and willing to perfectly guide you in all situations, to give you insights, to comfort you, to make you fearless, to make you into an exceptional person and bring you victory in all things that you desire to be victorious in; and finally God the father who gives the gift of Jesus and Holy Spirit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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        Building the Table Together: Commitment Before Contribution<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

        You can\u2019t bring value to a table that hasn\u2019t been agreed upon<\/strong>. The foundation is commitment, <\/strong>usually in the form of marriage<\/strong> or a lifelong, sacred bond. While marriage may look different across cultures, the core idea remains:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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        Two people vow to build and protect something lasting\u2014together.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

        And once the table is built?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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        What Happens After<\/em> the Table is Built? What Do You Bring to the Table? <\/h2>\n\n\n\n

        Once you and your man build the table (i.e., your relationship), the real work<\/strong> begins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

        The man often brings the meat and potatoes<\/strong>-symbolic of his protection, provision, problem-solving, and leadership. This doesn’t just mean money. It includes his:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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        • Mental strength<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • Resourcefulness<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • Dedication<\/li>\n\n\n\n
        • Sacrificial nature<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

          But the woman brings beauty, warmth, and depth<\/strong> to the table. She brings:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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          • Centerpieces, desserts, and colorful dishes (symbolic of variety, joy, creativity<\/strong>)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
          • Children (your \u201cguests\u201d at the table)<\/li>\n\n\n\n
          • Culture, ritual, rhythm, nurturing, grace<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

            You help your man grow, evolve, and diversify. You don’t just survive\u2014you thrive together<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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            Your Role at the Table: Cultivating Legacy<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

            As a woman, you’re not just there to decorate\u2014you help build a legacy<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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            • Children learn at your table.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
            • Values are passed on through your influence.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
            • You help shape the moral compass of future generations.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
            • You\u2019re either adding principled people to the world\u2014or more brokenness<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

              So ask yourself: Are you helping to maintain the longevity of the table?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

              Can you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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              • Keep the hinges oiled (e.g., nurture emotional connection)?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
              • Endure distance or hardship without collapsing?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
              • Reunite stronger after adversity?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

                ________________________________________________________<\/p>\n\n\n\n

                The Danger of Dismissing Men Based on Superficial Traits<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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                \"What
                Kingdom Vives<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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                \"Crown
                Kezidek is born<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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                \"Crown<\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

                When a woman dismisses a man solely based on his clothing, income, mannerisms, or articulation\u2014traits that can easily be refined with support and time\u2014she reveals something deeper: a fundamental inability to recognize potential and character over packaging. In essence, she is not ready to build a high-quality table<\/strong>, because she refuses to even assess the strength of the raw material.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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