Family Should Be Light Enough to Soar<\/title>\n\n <style>\n :root {\n --bg: #f7f3ed;\n --paper: #fffdf9;\n --ink: #2b2926;\n --muted: #6d665f;\n --line: #ddd3c7;\n --accent: #8d5f48;\n --accent-soft: #efe3d9;\n --quote: #f3ebe4;\n --shadow: 0 18px 45px rgba(60, 44, 30, 0.08);\n }\n\n * {\n box-sizing: border-box;\n }\n\n html {\n scroll-behavior: smooth;\n }\n\n body {\n margin: 0;\n background:\n radial-gradient(circle at top left, rgba(180, 150, 120, 0.08), transparent 34%),\n var(--bg);\n color: var(--ink);\n font-family: Georgia, \"Times New Roman\", serif;\n line-height: 1.72;\n font-size: 18px;\n }\n\n .page {\n width: min(900px, calc(100% - 32px));\n margin: 48px auto;\n background: var(--paper);\n border: 1px solid rgba(145, 120, 96, 0.14);\n box-shadow: var(--shadow);\n border-radius: 24px;\n overflow: hidden;\n }\n\n .hero {\n padding: 64px 64px 44px;\n border-bottom: 1px solid var(--line);\n background:\n linear-gradient(180deg, rgba(239, 227, 217, 0.65), rgba(255, 253, 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border-top: 1px solid var(--line);\n }\n\n @media (max-width: 700px) {\n body {\n font-size: 17px;\n }\n\n .page {\n width: min(100% - 18px, 900px);\n margin: 16px auto;\n border-radius: 16px;\n }\n\n .hero {\n padding: 42px 24px 30px;\n }\n\n article {\n padding: 34px 24px 48px;\n }\n\n footer {\n padding: 18px 24px 28px;\n }\n\n h2 {\n font-size: 26px;\n }\n\n .principle,\n .provisions,\n .domains,\n .final {\n padding: 22px;\n }\n }\n\n @media print {\n body {\n background: white;\n }\n\n .page {\n width: 100%;\n margin: 0;\n border: 0;\n box-shadow: none;\n }\n\n .hero,\n article,\n footer {\n padding-left: 0;\n padding-right: 0;\n }\n }\n <\/style>\n<\/head>\n\n<body>\n <main class=\"page\">\n\n <header class=\"hero\">\n A Family Reflection<\/p>\n <h1>Family Should Be Light Enough to Soar<\/h1>\n \n A reflection on the real work of family, the conditions surrounding it,\n and what I intend to build for my children and the generations after them.\n <\/p>\n <\/header>\n\n <article>\n\n I have noticed something very clearly in my own family.<\/p>\n\n The exact same people can feel delightful one day and overwhelmingly heavy the next.<\/p>\n\n On a fairly organized day, everybody has eaten, the house has some order, the children have somewhere to go, I have space to think, and my husband and I are not both stretched thin.<\/p>\n\n The children are still children.<\/p>\n\n They still make noise.<\/p>\n\n They still interrupt.<\/p>\n\n Somebody still spills something.<\/p>\n\n Somebody still gets hurt at the most inconvenient time.<\/p>\n\n But I have more room inside myself to deal with it.<\/p>\n\n Then there are other days when ordinary family work lands on top of ten other pressures.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n I am hungry.<\/p>\n Tired.<\/p>\n Thinking about food.<\/p>\n Thinking about cleaning.<\/p>\n Thinking about tomorrow.<\/p>\n Trying to finish something.<\/p>\n Trying to keep everybody comfortable.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n Then somebody calls, \u201cMommy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n And somebody else calls, \u201cMommy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n And suddenly the same family I love feels heavy.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"principle\">\n The people did not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n The conditions around us did.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n That has made me think much harder about what family actually needs.<\/p>\n\n <h2>Family Already Has Enough Work<\/h2>\n\n Family is already a big job.<\/p>\n\n A really big one.<\/p>\n\n To love people closely over years takes patience, correction, forgiveness, loyalty, teaching, care, protection, organization, sacrifice, affection and a constant willingness to keep coming back to each other.<\/p>\n\n Children have to be formed.<\/p>\n\n A marriage has to be tended.<\/p>\n\n People have bad moods.<\/p>\n\n Somebody gets hurt.<\/p>\n\n Somebody needs correcting.<\/p>\n\n Somebody needs comforting.<\/p>\n\n Somebody needs to be listened to when everybody else would rather have quiet.<\/p>\n\n You have to learn each other.<\/p>\n\n You have to forgive each other.<\/p>\n\n You have to figure out how to live in the same space without slowly driving each other mad.<\/p>\n\n That is family work.<\/p>\n\n And no system can do that work for us.<\/p>\n\n No beautiful house can make my husband and me stay close.<\/p>\n\n No abundance can teach my child patience for me.<\/p>\n\n No civilization can create family unity automatically.<\/p>\n\n We still have to talk, forgive, laugh, disagree, repair, have sex, stay interested in each other and keep choosing each other.<\/p>\n\n We still have to raise our children.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Correct them.<\/p>\n Listen to them.<\/p>\n Kiss their cheeks.<\/p>\n Teach them.<\/p>\n Protect them.<\/p>\n Cross-check ourselves when we get something wrong.<\/p>\n Build our own family culture.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n That work belongs to us.<\/p>\n\n So family should not also be carrying every other unnecessary weight on its back.<\/p>\n\n <h2>Make the Surrounding Life Lighter<\/h2>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Food insecurity.<\/p>\n Money pressure.<\/p>\n Bad housing.<\/p>\n Long commutes.<\/p>\n Lack of space.<\/p>\n No help.<\/p>\n Endless domestic work.<\/p>\n Difficult travel.<\/p>\n No real restoration time.<\/p>\n Children having nowhere safe and interesting to go.<\/p>\n Husband and wife trying to find ten uninterrupted minutes together while life keeps knocking on the door.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n All of that consumes energy that could have gone into the family itself.<\/p>\n\n If the basic conditions of life were already secure, the family would still have to do family work.<\/p>\n\n But more of the work would actually be about family.<\/p>\n\n Not scrambling.<\/p>\n\n Not constant maintenance.<\/p>\n\n Not spending the best part of your energy keeping everybody fed, housed, transported and functioning, then trying to form a good family with whatever is left.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"principle\">\n Family is already heavy with responsibility.<\/strong><\/p>\n Everything around it should be made as light as possible so the family itself can soar.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n <h2>What Should Be Provided Around the Family?<\/h2>\n\n The abstract provision list is actually quite simple.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"provisions\">\n Food provision:<\/strong> abundant, good food without constant money pressure, shopping stress or daily scrambling.<\/p>\n\n Housing provision:<\/strong> beautiful, spacious, stable homes designed around actual family life.<\/p>\n\n Domestic-work relief:<\/strong> systems that reduce repetitive cooking, cleaning, laundry, maintenance and household logistics.<\/p>\n\n Child activity and development:<\/strong> safe, interesting places where children can play, learn, explore, move, make friends and spend energy.<\/p>\n\n Marriage-time provision:<\/strong> privacy, couple spaces, dependable child support and enough time for husband and wife to enjoy each other.<\/p>\n\n Parental restoration:<\/strong> real opportunities to sleep, rest, recover, think, be alone and return to the family refreshed.<\/p>\n\n Travel and movement:<\/strong> easy local movement, family adventures and access to other places without the usual financial and logistical burden.<\/p>\n\n Health and care:<\/strong> pregnancy, birth, babies, illness, injury, recovery and ordinary health needs handled without throwing the entire family into crisis.<\/p>\n\n Learning provision:<\/strong> strong education and development without parents having to personally carry the whole educational burden.<\/p>\n\n Safety provision:<\/strong> environments where children can move more freely and parents do not have to remain on constant high alert.<\/p>\n\n Space provision:<\/strong> enough indoor and outdoor territory for noise, quiet, play, work, rest, couple time, children and visitors.<\/p>\n\n Nature and beauty:<\/strong> gardens, water, animals, shade, trees, beautiful architecture, pleasant walking routes and places worth spending the day.<\/p>\n\n Community and relationship:<\/strong> other families, trusted adults, grandparents, friends, shared activities and celebrations.<\/p>\n\n Material provision:<\/strong> clothing, baby supplies, household goods, tools, furnishings, repairs and ordinary necessities without constant purchasing anxiety.<\/p>\n\n Time provision:<\/strong> enough free time that family members are not permanently rushing from one obligation to another.<\/p>\n\n Mental-space provision:<\/strong> room for adults to think, invent, write, build, create, learn and develop ideas while remaining fully inside family life.<\/p>\n\n Adventure and delight:<\/strong> things to look forward to, places to go, recreation, discovery, novelty and fun.<\/p>\n\n Future security:<\/strong> parents should not spend their lives worrying whether their children will have housing, food, care, education or somewhere to belong when they grow up.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n Abstractly, I compress all of that into nine provision domains:<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"domains\">\n Nourishment. Shelter. Care. Time. Space. Movement. Learning. Restoration. Delight.<\/strong>\n <\/div>\n\n And above all nine sits security of access<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n The provision is not truly provided if the family can lose it the moment income falls, somebody becomes sick, another baby comes or circumstances change.<\/p>\n\n <h2>So I Am Building the Conditions Myself<\/h2>\n\n Once I saw the pattern clearly, it became impossible for me to leave the surrounding conditions of family life to chance.<\/p>\n\n That is one of the deepest reasons Trott Bailey Family Civilization exists.<\/p>\n\n I am building the conditions I want my own family to live inside.<\/p>\n\n Foodway and the wider nourishment systems answer food provision.<\/p>\n\n Our family compounds answer shelter and space.<\/p>\n\n Baby World and Tideechi answer care around babies, birth and family life.<\/p>\n\n NoDumbDumbs answers learning and child development.<\/p>\n\n Yossam, FEX and LuvYou Care-Ports answer movement and travel.<\/p>\n\n Rest orchards, Sabenneries, water places and recovery grounds answer restoration.<\/p>\n\n Gardens, animals, beautiful architecture, travel, public life, events and family activity answer delight.<\/p>\n\n And the deeper money-free structure answers security of access. Access should not disappear because a family\u2019s income changes.<\/p>\n\n The individual systems have different names, but underneath them they are answering the same family needs.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Nourishment.<\/p>\n Shelter.<\/p>\n Care.<\/p>\n Time.<\/p>\n Space.<\/p>\n Movement.<\/p>\n Learning.<\/p>\n Restoration.<\/p>\n Delight.<\/p>\n Securely.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n <h2>I Want More Than Relief<\/h2>\n\n Removing pressure is only the beginning.<\/p>\n\n There is a difference between:<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"principle\">\n Families should not suffer so much.<\/strong><\/p>\n and<\/p>\n It should be absolutely delightful to be married and have children.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n The second one interests me much more.<\/p>\n\n I am not trying merely to make family life less difficult.<\/p>\n\n I want to author the positive conditions around family.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Enough space.<\/p>\n Enough food.<\/p>\n Enough help.<\/p>\n Beautiful places to live.<\/p>\n Children with somewhere wonderful to go.<\/p>\n Things for them to do.<\/p>\n Travel.<\/p>\n Water.<\/p>\n Gardens.<\/p>\n Animals.<\/p>\n Learning.<\/p>\n Rest.<\/p>\n Adventure.<\/p>\n Privacy.<\/p>\n Community.<\/p>\n Good food.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n Time for husband and wife to enjoy being husband and wife.<\/p>\n\n Time to talk.<\/p>\n\n Time to laugh.<\/p>\n\n Time to sit together.<\/p>\n\n Time to travel together.<\/p>\n\n Time to be interested in each other.<\/p>\n\n Time to think.<\/p>\n\n Time to invent.<\/p>\n\n Time to author ideas.<\/p>\n\n Time for parents to cook something beautiful because they feel like it, not because five hungry people are standing there and somebody has to produce dinner again.<\/p>\n\n Time for children to be children without every bit of their energy landing directly on already exhausted parents.<\/p>\n\n The family still does its own work.<\/p>\n\n But the civilization around the family can stop stealing so much of the energy needed to do it.<\/p>\n\n Then take it a million steps further.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Make family life rich.<\/p>\n Joyful.<\/p>\n Interesting.<\/p>\n Restful.<\/p>\n Adventurous.<\/p>\n Close.<\/p>\n Alive.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n <h2>For My Children and Their Children<\/h2>\n\n I cannot leave this work in the hands of this silly world.<\/p>\n\n Why should every generation inherit the same unnecessary exhaustion and then call it normal family life?<\/p>\n\n I do not want that for myself.<\/p>\n\n I do not want it for my children.<\/p>\n\n I do not want it for their children.<\/p>\n\n I am looking down the bloodline.<\/p>\n\n My children will not remain children.<\/p>\n\n One day they may become husbands and wives.<\/p>\n\n They may become parents.<\/p>\n\n They will carry pieces of what they experienced with us into their own homes.<\/p>\n\n I want them to know what it feels like to belong.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n To be loved.<\/p>\n Corrected.<\/p>\n Forgiven.<\/p>\n Protected.<\/p>\n Wanted.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n To see husband and wife actually enjoy each other.<\/p>\n\n To remember travel.<\/p>\n\n Good food.<\/p>\n\n Beauty.<\/p>\n\n Laughter.<\/p>\n\n Arguments repaired.<\/p>\n\n People showing up.<\/p>\n\n Family being busy busy busy sometimes, but fundamentally good.<\/p>\n\n Then they build their own families.<\/p>\n\n Their children receive something from them.<\/p>\n\n Those children grow up.<\/p>\n\n They carry it again.<\/p>\n\n Give it enough years and one family becomes dozens of people.<\/p>\n\n Then hundreds.<\/p>\n\n Then thousands.<\/p>\n\n Not copies of each other.<\/p>\n\n But people carrying pieces of the same family culture forward.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Love.<\/p>\n Togetherness.<\/p>\n Responsibility.<\/p>\n Loyalty.<\/p>\n Patience.<\/p>\n Care.<\/p>\n The ability to repair.<\/p>\n The instinct to protect children.<\/p>\n The understanding that marriage and family require work and are worth that work.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n That is what I want moving through my family long after I am gone.<\/p>\n\n So the principle is simple now.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"principle\">\n Remove survival friction.<\/strong><\/p>\n Provide the conditions of family life.<\/strong><\/p>\n Deliberately add delight.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n <div class=\"final\">\n Family does not need to be made weightless.<\/p>\n\n Love itself has weight.<\/p>\n\n Responsibility has weight.<\/p>\n\n Marriage has work inside it.<\/p>\n\n Raising human beings has weight.<\/p>\n\n The unnecessary load can come off.<\/p>\n\n Then we can build what should have been there all along.<\/p>\n\n I know what I want for my husband.<\/p>\n\n I know what I want for my children.<\/p>\n\n I know what I want for their marriages.<\/p>\n\n I know what I want for their children.<\/p>\n\n I know what I want passed down after that.<\/p>\n\n I intend to make family light enough to soar.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n <\/article>\n\n <footer>\n Trott Bailey Family Civilization\n <\/footer>\n\n <\/main>\n<\/body>\n<\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Family Should Be Light Enough to Soar A Family Reflection Family Should Be Light Enough to Soar A reflection on the real work of family, the conditions surrounding it, and what I intend to build for my children and the generations after them. I have noticed something very clearly in my own family. 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{"id":118196,"date":"2026-09-20T00:17:01","date_gmt":"2026-09-20T00:17:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/?p=118196"},"modified":"2026-09-20T00:17:07","modified_gmt":"2026-09-20T00:17:07","slug":"family-should-be-light-enough-to-soar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/family-should-be-light-enough-to-soar\/","title":{"rendered":"Family Should Be Light Enough to Soar"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n \n \n \n Family Should Be Light Enough to Soar<\/title>\n\n <style>\n :root {\n --bg: #f7f3ed;\n --paper: #fffdf9;\n --ink: #2b2926;\n --muted: #6d665f;\n --line: #ddd3c7;\n --accent: #8d5f48;\n --accent-soft: #efe3d9;\n --quote: #f3ebe4;\n --shadow: 0 18px 45px rgba(60, 44, 30, 0.08);\n }\n\n * {\n box-sizing: border-box;\n }\n\n html {\n scroll-behavior: smooth;\n }\n\n body {\n margin: 0;\n background:\n radial-gradient(circle at top left, rgba(180, 150, 120, 0.08), transparent 34%),\n var(--bg);\n color: 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margin: 0;\n border: 0;\n box-shadow: none;\n }\n\n .hero,\n article,\n footer {\n padding-left: 0;\n padding-right: 0;\n }\n }\n <\/style>\n<\/head>\n\n<body>\n <main class=\"page\">\n\n <header class=\"hero\">\n A Family Reflection<\/p>\n <h1>Family Should Be Light Enough to Soar<\/h1>\n \n A reflection on the real work of family, the conditions surrounding it,\n and what I intend to build for my children and the generations after them.\n <\/p>\n <\/header>\n\n <article>\n\n I have noticed something very clearly in my own family.<\/p>\n\n The exact same people can feel delightful one day and overwhelmingly heavy the next.<\/p>\n\n On a fairly organized day, everybody has eaten, the house has some order, the children have somewhere to go, I have space to think, and my husband and I are not both stretched thin.<\/p>\n\n The children are still children.<\/p>\n\n They still make noise.<\/p>\n\n They still interrupt.<\/p>\n\n Somebody still spills something.<\/p>\n\n Somebody still gets hurt at the most inconvenient time.<\/p>\n\n But I have more room inside myself to deal with it.<\/p>\n\n Then there are other days when ordinary family work lands on top of ten other pressures.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n I am hungry.<\/p>\n Tired.<\/p>\n Thinking about food.<\/p>\n Thinking about cleaning.<\/p>\n Thinking about tomorrow.<\/p>\n Trying to finish something.<\/p>\n Trying to keep everybody comfortable.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n Then somebody calls, \u201cMommy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n And somebody else calls, \u201cMommy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n And suddenly the same family I love feels heavy.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"principle\">\n The people did not change.<\/strong><\/p>\n The conditions around us did.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n That has made me think much harder about what family actually needs.<\/p>\n\n <h2>Family Already Has Enough Work<\/h2>\n\n Family is already a big job.<\/p>\n\n A really big one.<\/p>\n\n To love people closely over years takes patience, correction, forgiveness, loyalty, teaching, care, protection, organization, sacrifice, affection and a constant willingness to keep coming back to each other.<\/p>\n\n Children have to be formed.<\/p>\n\n A marriage has to be tended.<\/p>\n\n People have bad moods.<\/p>\n\n Somebody gets hurt.<\/p>\n\n Somebody needs correcting.<\/p>\n\n Somebody needs comforting.<\/p>\n\n Somebody needs to be listened to when everybody else would rather have quiet.<\/p>\n\n You have to learn each other.<\/p>\n\n You have to forgive each other.<\/p>\n\n You have to figure out how to live in the same space without slowly driving each other mad.<\/p>\n\n That is family work.<\/p>\n\n And no system can do that work for us.<\/p>\n\n No beautiful house can make my husband and me stay close.<\/p>\n\n No abundance can teach my child patience for me.<\/p>\n\n No civilization can create family unity automatically.<\/p>\n\n We still have to talk, forgive, laugh, disagree, repair, have sex, stay interested in each other and keep choosing each other.<\/p>\n\n We still have to raise our children.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Correct them.<\/p>\n Listen to them.<\/p>\n Kiss their cheeks.<\/p>\n Teach them.<\/p>\n Protect them.<\/p>\n Cross-check ourselves when we get something wrong.<\/p>\n Build our own family culture.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n That work belongs to us.<\/p>\n\n So family should not also be carrying every other unnecessary weight on its back.<\/p>\n\n <h2>Make the Surrounding Life Lighter<\/h2>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Food insecurity.<\/p>\n Money pressure.<\/p>\n Bad housing.<\/p>\n Long commutes.<\/p>\n Lack of space.<\/p>\n No help.<\/p>\n Endless domestic work.<\/p>\n Difficult travel.<\/p>\n No real restoration time.<\/p>\n Children having nowhere safe and interesting to go.<\/p>\n Husband and wife trying to find ten uninterrupted minutes together while life keeps knocking on the door.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n All of that consumes energy that could have gone into the family itself.<\/p>\n\n If the basic conditions of life were already secure, the family would still have to do family work.<\/p>\n\n But more of the work would actually be about family.<\/p>\n\n Not scrambling.<\/p>\n\n Not constant maintenance.<\/p>\n\n Not spending the best part of your energy keeping everybody fed, housed, transported and functioning, then trying to form a good family with whatever is left.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"principle\">\n Family is already heavy with responsibility.<\/strong><\/p>\n Everything around it should be made as light as possible so the family itself can soar.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n <h2>What Should Be Provided Around the Family?<\/h2>\n\n The abstract provision list is actually quite simple.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"provisions\">\n Food provision:<\/strong> abundant, good food without constant money pressure, shopping stress or daily scrambling.<\/p>\n\n Housing provision:<\/strong> beautiful, spacious, stable homes designed around actual family life.<\/p>\n\n Domestic-work relief:<\/strong> systems that reduce repetitive cooking, cleaning, laundry, maintenance and household logistics.<\/p>\n\n Child activity and development:<\/strong> safe, interesting places where children can play, learn, explore, move, make friends and spend energy.<\/p>\n\n Marriage-time provision:<\/strong> privacy, couple spaces, dependable child support and enough time for husband and wife to enjoy each other.<\/p>\n\n Parental restoration:<\/strong> real opportunities to sleep, rest, recover, think, be alone and return to the family refreshed.<\/p>\n\n Travel and movement:<\/strong> easy local movement, family adventures and access to other places without the usual financial and logistical burden.<\/p>\n\n Health and care:<\/strong> pregnancy, birth, babies, illness, injury, recovery and ordinary health needs handled without throwing the entire family into crisis.<\/p>\n\n Learning provision:<\/strong> strong education and development without parents having to personally carry the whole educational burden.<\/p>\n\n Safety provision:<\/strong> environments where children can move more freely and parents do not have to remain on constant high alert.<\/p>\n\n Space provision:<\/strong> enough indoor and outdoor territory for noise, quiet, play, work, rest, couple time, children and visitors.<\/p>\n\n Nature and beauty:<\/strong> gardens, water, animals, shade, trees, beautiful architecture, pleasant walking routes and places worth spending the day.<\/p>\n\n Community and relationship:<\/strong> other families, trusted adults, grandparents, friends, shared activities and celebrations.<\/p>\n\n Material provision:<\/strong> clothing, baby supplies, household goods, tools, furnishings, repairs and ordinary necessities without constant purchasing anxiety.<\/p>\n\n Time provision:<\/strong> enough free time that family members are not permanently rushing from one obligation to another.<\/p>\n\n Mental-space provision:<\/strong> room for adults to think, invent, write, build, create, learn and develop ideas while remaining fully inside family life.<\/p>\n\n Adventure and delight:<\/strong> things to look forward to, places to go, recreation, discovery, novelty and fun.<\/p>\n\n Future security:<\/strong> parents should not spend their lives worrying whether their children will have housing, food, care, education or somewhere to belong when they grow up.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n Abstractly, I compress all of that into nine provision domains:<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"domains\">\n Nourishment. Shelter. Care. Time. Space. Movement. Learning. Restoration. Delight.<\/strong>\n <\/div>\n\n And above all nine sits security of access<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n The provision is not truly provided if the family can lose it the moment income falls, somebody becomes sick, another baby comes or circumstances change.<\/p>\n\n <h2>So I Am Building the Conditions Myself<\/h2>\n\n Once I saw the pattern clearly, it became impossible for me to leave the surrounding conditions of family life to chance.<\/p>\n\n That is one of the deepest reasons Trott Bailey Family Civilization exists.<\/p>\n\n I am building the conditions I want my own family to live inside.<\/p>\n\n Foodway and the wider nourishment systems answer food provision.<\/p>\n\n Our family compounds answer shelter and space.<\/p>\n\n Baby World and Tideechi answer care around babies, birth and family life.<\/p>\n\n NoDumbDumbs answers learning and child development.<\/p>\n\n Yossam, FEX and LuvYou Care-Ports answer movement and travel.<\/p>\n\n Rest orchards, Sabenneries, water places and recovery grounds answer restoration.<\/p>\n\n Gardens, animals, beautiful architecture, travel, public life, events and family activity answer delight.<\/p>\n\n And the deeper money-free structure answers security of access. Access should not disappear because a family\u2019s income changes.<\/p>\n\n The individual systems have different names, but underneath them they are answering the same family needs.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Nourishment.<\/p>\n Shelter.<\/p>\n Care.<\/p>\n Time.<\/p>\n Space.<\/p>\n Movement.<\/p>\n Learning.<\/p>\n Restoration.<\/p>\n Delight.<\/p>\n Securely.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n <h2>I Want More Than Relief<\/h2>\n\n Removing pressure is only the beginning.<\/p>\n\n There is a difference between:<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"principle\">\n Families should not suffer so much.<\/strong><\/p>\n and<\/p>\n It should be absolutely delightful to be married and have children.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n The second one interests me much more.<\/p>\n\n I am not trying merely to make family life less difficult.<\/p>\n\n I want to author the positive conditions around family.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Enough space.<\/p>\n Enough food.<\/p>\n Enough help.<\/p>\n Beautiful places to live.<\/p>\n Children with somewhere wonderful to go.<\/p>\n Things for them to do.<\/p>\n Travel.<\/p>\n Water.<\/p>\n Gardens.<\/p>\n Animals.<\/p>\n Learning.<\/p>\n Rest.<\/p>\n Adventure.<\/p>\n Privacy.<\/p>\n Community.<\/p>\n Good food.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n Time for husband and wife to enjoy being husband and wife.<\/p>\n\n Time to talk.<\/p>\n\n Time to laugh.<\/p>\n\n Time to sit together.<\/p>\n\n Time to travel together.<\/p>\n\n Time to be interested in each other.<\/p>\n\n Time to think.<\/p>\n\n Time to invent.<\/p>\n\n Time to author ideas.<\/p>\n\n Time for parents to cook something beautiful because they feel like it, not because five hungry people are standing there and somebody has to produce dinner again.<\/p>\n\n Time for children to be children without every bit of their energy landing directly on already exhausted parents.<\/p>\n\n The family still does its own work.<\/p>\n\n But the civilization around the family can stop stealing so much of the energy needed to do it.<\/p>\n\n Then take it a million steps further.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Make family life rich.<\/p>\n Joyful.<\/p>\n Interesting.<\/p>\n Restful.<\/p>\n Adventurous.<\/p>\n Close.<\/p>\n Alive.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n <h2>For My Children and Their Children<\/h2>\n\n I cannot leave this work in the hands of this silly world.<\/p>\n\n Why should every generation inherit the same unnecessary exhaustion and then call it normal family life?<\/p>\n\n I do not want that for myself.<\/p>\n\n I do not want it for my children.<\/p>\n\n I do not want it for their children.<\/p>\n\n I am looking down the bloodline.<\/p>\n\n My children will not remain children.<\/p>\n\n One day they may become husbands and wives.<\/p>\n\n They may become parents.<\/p>\n\n They will carry pieces of what they experienced with us into their own homes.<\/p>\n\n I want them to know what it feels like to belong.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n To be loved.<\/p>\n Corrected.<\/p>\n Forgiven.<\/p>\n Protected.<\/p>\n Wanted.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n To see husband and wife actually enjoy each other.<\/p>\n\n To remember travel.<\/p>\n\n Good food.<\/p>\n\n Beauty.<\/p>\n\n Laughter.<\/p>\n\n Arguments repaired.<\/p>\n\n People showing up.<\/p>\n\n Family being busy busy busy sometimes, but fundamentally good.<\/p>\n\n Then they build their own families.<\/p>\n\n Their children receive something from them.<\/p>\n\n Those children grow up.<\/p>\n\n They carry it again.<\/p>\n\n Give it enough years and one family becomes dozens of people.<\/p>\n\n Then hundreds.<\/p>\n\n Then thousands.<\/p>\n\n Not copies of each other.<\/p>\n\n But people carrying pieces of the same family culture forward.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"beat\">\n Love.<\/p>\n Togetherness.<\/p>\n Responsibility.<\/p>\n Loyalty.<\/p>\n Patience.<\/p>\n Care.<\/p>\n The ability to repair.<\/p>\n The instinct to protect children.<\/p>\n The understanding that marriage and family require work and are worth that work.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n That is what I want moving through my family long after I am gone.<\/p>\n\n So the principle is simple now.<\/p>\n\n <div class=\"principle\">\n Remove survival friction.<\/strong><\/p>\n Provide the conditions of family life.<\/strong><\/p>\n Deliberately add delight.<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n <div class=\"final\">\n Family does not need to be made weightless.<\/p>\n\n Love itself has weight.<\/p>\n\n Responsibility has weight.<\/p>\n\n Marriage has work inside it.<\/p>\n\n Raising human beings has weight.<\/p>\n\n The unnecessary load can come off.<\/p>\n\n Then we can build what should have been there all along.<\/p>\n\n I know what I want for my husband.<\/p>\n\n I know what I want for my children.<\/p>\n\n I know what I want for their marriages.<\/p>\n\n I know what I want for their children.<\/p>\n\n I know what I want passed down after that.<\/p>\n\n I intend to make family light enough to soar.<\/p>\n <\/div>\n\n <\/article>\n\n <footer>\n Trott Bailey Family Civilization\n <\/footer>\n\n <\/main>\n<\/body>\n<\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Family Should Be Light Enough to Soar A Family Reflection Family Should Be Light Enough to Soar A reflection on the real work of family, the conditions surrounding it, and what I intend to build for my children and the generations after them. I have noticed something very clearly in my own family. The exact…<\/p>\n<div class=\"read-more-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/family-should-be-light-enough-to-soar\/\">Read More<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":118150,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_tbfbkm_featured_url":"","_tbfbkm_featured_mime":"","_tbfbkm_featured_type":"","_tbfbkm_featured_title":"","_tbfbkm_featured_poster_url":"","_tbfbkm_featured_mode":"","_tbfbkm_featured_music_video_url":"","_tbfbkm_featured_music_video_items":[],"_tbfbkm_featured_music_video_slide_duration":0,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","wds_primary_category":1,"footnotes":"","_tbfbkm_featured_dynamic_movie_id":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-118196","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-tbu-1drop"],"tbfbkm_featured_media":null,"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118196","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=118196"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118196\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":118198,"href":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118196\/revisions\/118198"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/118150"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=118196"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=118196"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/trottbaileyfamily.com\/1drop\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=118196"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}