Some of my Love Letters To my Husband K.B. during Korean Prison
Love Letters to K.B. From ( A year apart in South Korea) This particular Love letter was written on Jan 13.2022.
K.B. My love,
I got your love letter about priorities today. It seems you still haven’t gotten my love letters about the baby being born. I brought her back to the apartment today. I had stopped writing because I knew if I sent them off you wouldn’t get the letters till next week. That would be in the week of Jan 17 and I was hoping you would be acquitted and released so that there would be no need for my letters. But now your letter telling me about what happened in court and telling me that your testimonies will be heard on January 17 and then the sentencing after, I guess I will start writing again. You might get my previous letters today. I pass on the letters early but I can’t determine when the people at Aeranwon will post them. If I could post them myself I would.
Anyway, I passed on the first set to the doctor, and he passed it on to the nurse. Then I heard that the Aeranwon counselor was sick on Thursday and Friday, so I don’t even know if she got the letters or if they are still at the hospital with the nurse. Overall though the gist of the letters is that Kaleeyon is here. She is gorgeous and we miss you.
One night out of nowhere Keilah just started crying for you. I took it as a sign that you will soon come back. My love, I’m keeping my spirit up. In one of the batches of the letter i sent, I said i was feeling down, poor, etc. But don’t mind that if you do get that letter. I’m fine now, momentary setback, lol. My breasts are plumpy and milky and my vajajay is healing nicely.
Kaleeyon is healthy as expected. Oh, I love you so much. I can’t wait for you to see your little beauty. I have a new roommate, her name is Almaz from Ethiopia. She is eight months pregnant now, she speaks English. I also came home to see lots of milk in the fridge, oranges and some tuna- guess they put it there to welcome Almaz. God knows I have been asking for some cornflakes and milk for weeks now from Aeranwon.
So as you wrote in your priorities letter, my number 1 priority is food. Food truly makes me happy, seeing an abundance of food around makes me happy, i don’t even need to eat it, I just love abundance, I love seeing it for my children. I can’t understand people who a miserly and mean, who do not understand the joy of plenty of food and abundance.
Anyway today and over the previous week several things came to me, new understandings:
Oh! i published a new chapter of Katya and Zolokhan and i will write a new chapter of Juanita’s Victories soon. This time Salvano will be telling Juanita about the porn director he met and his insights into the porn industry. Anyway, that brings me to my “ revelations”
When we described Katya and Zolokhan” as a moviebook, intending to insert creative videos, real-life videos, fashion videos, etc to depict different scenes in the book, i don’t think we truly understood just how timeless and awesome that is. For example in this new chapter of Katya and Zolokhan that I wrote- it is the year 2050 and the setting is back to our Family in Mozambique. In one scene Chiumbo and Flavia, our pastry chefs from our Kitchen and Agriculture department, are arguing over my decision to gift some refugee villages with custard cakes and persimmon fruit wine. Flavia thinks I shouldn’t be kind to the refugees after they had attacked our property a year ago.
In this chapter, I write that some pretenders led by a man named Azim came in amongst some refugees that we had given housing to on the outskirts of our Kingdom. Azim and his men set themselves up as leaders and started to extort the workers on our Mozambique estate and start inciting trouble. We then had Azim and his men forcibly ejected from our lands. Azim in retaliation, using lies, stirs up the people to set fires to some of our property and fields. They were soon after struck with boils all over their bodies because they repaid good with evil. The refugees weren’t healed until they kicked out Azim and his men from amongst them and begged the family for forgiveness.
So Flavia and Chiumbo are discussing the incident. Chiumbo tells Flavia that it is all in the past and that if Senhora Sher wants to continue to be kind to the refugees and let bygones be bygones, then Flavia should do the same. The scene then moves on to you and Rajah in another room discussing Australia’s agriculture policies.
Anyway back to the point I was making about inserting clips into the book and creating a whole genre called Moviebook. I realize that just by setting out like this initially, we have all the time in the world now to go back through the various chapters and insert video clips, pictures, illustrations, etc all because we have written our vision. All because we have a “movie- book”. We envisioned a book with video clips. It is the same with our family- we have a vision written out, a blueprint, so our family can never settle for less than the vision.
I had to take a break and breastfeed Kaleeyon. She was so hungry. It’s like God knows that the breast pump machine isn’t working so he made Kaleeyon extra hungry. The girl sucked both titties for 1 hour and a half in total..It’s 2:45 pm. I’m excited to restart the writing to each other again. I’m going to take a shower and bathe Keilah-freshen ourselves and get ready to go down to Aeranwon to eat.
It’s 3:30, I thought Kaleeyon was asleep. Turns out she was still hungry. She is now asleep again. I’m going to bathe Keilah. I will resume this letter later. Keilah loves your drawings by the way and all these Love letters.
Babes, today is the first day back. I went down for dinner, thank god i had Almaz to help me. I have no stroller yet to rest the baby down at Aeranwon, no stroller to put Kaleeyon in and carry her in the cold wind. Almaz had to hold her for me so I could go dish out food for me and Keilah. Then Keilah started watching videos and falling asleep, so i just had to rush back to the apartment with the two kids. Tomorrow I will leave them for five minutes and go to Aeranwon to ask for a stroller and some envelopes.
Keilah has been acting kind of moody ever since the baby came home. Maybe I’m just reading more into it than there is. I think I’m the moody one. Gosh, I really hate all those stupid videos she watches. That’s all that’s in her head as of late. Anyway, i think i will just make this one long continuous letter. I’m going to read over your letters. Hopefully, I can take a nap after.
This particular Love letter was written on January 14th 2022
Babes,
It’s almost noon, lunchtime, the next day- Friday 14th. I just got a moment to myself. I gave Kaleeyon her first bath today as her mom. She is sleeping in my arms, and Keilah is out in the hall, watching videos, and eating tuna and noodles. I have to be carrying Kaleeyon in my hands to go down to the center, thank god for Almaz who holds her and lets me go get food for me and Keilah. I’m going to ask for a stroller or some kind of baby carrier because this just does not make any sense, me walking around with the baby in my hand in the snow. The first night with Kaleeyon home went well, I was tired but not overly and I did get some sleep.
I literally can’t wrap my mind around your case or why they would want to bring false charges against our family. But I love hearing about your court victories. I surprisingly made it through without a breast pump. Titties were stiff but each time Kaleeyon suckled them down, our turbo-gutted baby handled her milk well. I remember you always joked that my titties were bigger than Keilah’s head when she was born. The same is true again for Kaleeyon but she dealt with them like a champ. For some reason every time i put her down to sleep she wakes up, but when I hold her in my arm she sleeps. SMH.
Oh, According to the doctor, Kaleeyon has a rare blood type, Blood type RH negative (RH-), only 1 % of people in the world have this blood type. Also, if she ever needs blood she can only receive RH-. According to the doctor, For Kaleeyon to have this blood type her parents have to have A positive and B blood type. So I am the blood type of A positive (A+) and yours is the blood type B. Apparently, it is pretty common for South Koreans to walk around knowing their blood type….
I miss you, Keilah misses you. I can’t entertain Keilah the way she wants. I just don’t have the energy. You would always take her out every day and you guys have so much fun together. I just hope this ends quickly.
Later,
Love Sher
This particular Love letter was written on
Sunday January 16 2022
K.B My Husband,
Ahhh, let me come out of the baby world for a minute.
Whoo! Can you believe our daughter sucked out my two breasts? Kaleeyon can eat a lot, gal can nyam (eat) man! I love to joke to her and say, ‘Surely through any storm, any flood, any disaster, you will surely be hanging on to my titties!”
I also like to joke to her and ask her if there was a 2-for-one discount in the fat pum pum line. lmao.
Whoi! Kimroy when will I be released from the land of *wilderbeastness? ( *wilderbeastness- people who don’t think for themselves, just madly follow the majority) When will I be reunited with my husband and my children’s father?
Listen to the people at Aeranwon and their Wildrebeast reasoning.
“ Why didn’t I come down to dinner one night and what about Keilah, What is she eating?
So I said to her,
“I was too tired to come, too tired to bundle up the baby, walk down in snow, just so Keilah could maybe, just maybe eat some rice.”
Once again the cornflakes came up for discussion. When I ask this particular for some more cornflakes for Keilah, she counters and asks me if cornflakes aren’t unhealthy for her.
Like first of all, you fucking wilder-beast- You give us one box of cornflakes every two weeks, so it is not like Keilah is up here munching on cornflakes every day and so what if she was?
Secondly, it’s okay to eat cornflakes for breakfast but god forbid you should feel to eat some cornflakes at dinner time. Wilderbeast land! oh if I could just buy my own supply of cornflakes. i don’t know why they think it’s weird that Keilah doesn’t take to their Korean food, everything is either fermented, dried, seasoned, sauced up, green-leafed, etc. So what if the kid likes cornflakes, fried chicken and strawberries and tuna?
Hush , I’m sorry babes, I’m writing this rant with one free hand and the other hand holding Kaleeyon on the titty. I’m seated on a chair beside a dresser, Hence my writing is all over the paper.
Anyway, I need your letters… I’m so looking forward to them. When the physical pressure of my current state gets to me, I don’t want to lose heart or lose focus. I want to remember that this will soon be over. This one Kaleeon is finally looking like this is the last suck on the titty that will send her off to bed.
Even these things this little nosey, snide-tongued counsellor with her little way of dropping in little digs while smiling, wouldn’t even consider;
That my baby has been up for 3 hours and finally when i get to put her down to sleep, its dinner time…I can’t even rest! I literally just get the baby to fall asleep, now you want me to wrap her up in the Korean-style winter blanket, dress Keilah who is also getting sleepy, and come out in the snow down five flights of stairs, down this fucking hill to come to Aeranwon. I would rather stay home and eat dry bread. Even if my back and pelvis hurt, i must come down three times per day to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner at inflexible hours. Rather than just stock the damn fridge with some food for the days when it is too hard for a mother to reach your Aeranwon center. But oh you won’t provide basic groceries but you will kill me, swamp me with baby clothes, got so many baby clothes i don’t want to see another piece! But every month we have to have a debate over one box of cornflakes, I repeat over a box of cornflakes! Cornflakes is or breakfast my foot! Fucking robot! If TV and media make eating cornflakes at night the cool thing you would see how quickly people start saying cornflakes is for supper. Oh God Kaleeyon fell asleep on the titty, i can finally go take a shit. Been holding this shit forever.
Watch the Movie “We Love You Big King Daddy” on Oasis Videos
Tuesday Feb 1 2022, Love Letters continued
KB My love,
Why in God’s name do people have to make bathroom stalls so close to each other? Make it make sense! Come on…. that’s one of your most private moments with some of the worst smells and i have to be shitting two feet away from the person next door. Both of us internally cringing, hoping the other doesn’t hear when our shit drops into the toilet bowl. I swear people are fucking daft. I’m watching some luxury home tours on YouTube, it’s now the trend to close off the toilet into a room that is as tiny as a chicken coop. Why? Isn’t this “luxury”? Why not more space? Why not a giant bathroom with some fresh air flowing through? I want to take a shit and i have to hope Almaz is far away LMAO, oh disgusting apartment living!
i even planned to do it down by Aeranwon’s bathrooms but the fucking center’s bathrooms are jammed up right beside each other, even worse.
Meanwhile Keilah with her sweet innocence just goes to the bathroom, the door unlocked and takes her dump, flushes and says “Bye poop”. lmao. Oh no, babes, Kaleeyon is waking up. Soon come back to the letter after lunch.
Tuesday continued 10:00pm, Love Letters continued
I’m back but way into the night. Just finished changing Kaleeyon. Both of us are out in the living room, I’m eating Keilah’s leftover cornflakes and milk. It’s the only way i can get some. Keilah is on this app that i downloaded for her, which is basically learning new words using pictures. The pictures break apart into puzzle pieces which she has to put back together. There is a food category, so Keilah especially loves going into the food pictures and putting those puzzle pieces back together. The foods are cupcakes, ice cream, cotton candy, cookies, pizza, lollipops etc. I’m like her, i want all those foods too lmao. I’m craving rice cakes and ice cream. Tonight i made a sincere heart prayer to Jesus for him to stock us up on some food.
on another note,
What an offense to tradition and to “the way things are done” that we have jumped out of the small pool of our Island country Jamaica and jumped into the bigger pool of the whole world. Then on top of that, we have not jumped into the bigger pool just to be small-fished in the bigger pool, but we have declared ourselves to be the biggest Fish in the biggest pool. What audacity! How dare we! Lmao.
We should have waited 100 more generations before our family could even think of being on top! For us to write about ourselves in such an epic way, to declare such vast amounts of wealth, to have honor and influence- never should it be in our lifetime, because we were not born from any mighty family. Who are you to be so bold? so aggressive? so arrogant? they ask in wonder….lmao
Surely only God can raise a man from prison to palace, from the dung heap to the mountain of glory!
Watch Kaleeyon Lifting her head on Oasis videos by Trott Bailey Family
Love Letters March 4 2022:
Babes,
In your last letter you asked me what it is about you that i love so much? One of the main things is that you always have some of the most interesting perspectives on things which i always find so striking! Like when you said in your last letter
” You Sher have successfully ruled in a little, no wonder God has now bestowed on you a lot.”
How could i forget the simple principle that to be a good ruler, you must first be able to rule over your own house? As I go through this time with just me and the girls ( only in the physical sense cause you are here with me every step of the way with the support of your love letters), and as i have it out with the Holy Spirit about Keilah, i ask How must i deal with this energetic child? This seemingly defiant child? I sometimes get so angry at her. Your perspective that i am ruling my little house, my little nest just fine, don’t worry or stress has me feeling encouraged.
You said i should look at it like this:
- I understand Kaleeyon’s needs more, managing breastfeeding under all the stress
- I’m organizing our days with the help of the Holy Spirit
- I’m giving Keilah and parenting over to the Holy Spirit
- I’m managing each day without your physical presence
Wow! for you to look at it from a zoomed-out perspective. For you to say that God is training me in the little before i can manage in the greater, and it is all easy- it really changed my thinking and really pumped me up!
It’s just like when you said that i should not underestimate the power of my novel Juanita’s Victories and the impact of the things i write. Simple instructions which are so crucial to a young girl’s life, advice that they are not getting anywhere else, is all in Juanita’s Victories- You were the one to point that out to me. You are always encouraging me, babes!
Things i brush off about myself, you are always able to see the value, beauty and usefulness in them. You always give me concrete examples of just how amazing i am. Babes you always build me up. Words always hurt me the deepest for real. Can you imagine if hurtful or mean words were coming in from someone i loved. But Never, Never with my KB, you are always praiseing me! Sometimes i don’t even know exactly what i did that just set you off and inspire you. i just get a bunch of kisses and hear
” Oh my sweet Sher!”. Its never have to try with you, your love for me just flows out, you just love me, love my ways, love my quirkiness.
From the first time we met, you had no time for any tear-down behavior or blame each other foolishness. You just wanted to stay positive. I love it! i love you Big King! Me want to be back with you so bad! so much! I appreciate you so much, I’m just realizing more and more the real quality of my diamond in the rough! So beautiful you are, so majestic and manly you have become.
When i think back on all the times you squared your shoulders and went and got food for our family- me heart melts! I say,
” That’s my man!”
Every time we lay down in the cold, in the rain, homeless, me feeling forlorn or discouraged yet you squared your jaw, determined to only believe God and speak life and tell me vexedly to shut up if i am not going to speak words of hope- it encourages me!
I said to myself ” at least KB is staying strong, consistently strong….even if inside he is feeling like i am feeling, at least he refuses to speak useless words or give the negative thoughts any life or credence with his tongue. Heaven empowers you and it sweet me, My man is dependable, my man is a true family man! A true stalwart i can depend on, I don’t always have to be strong anymore by myself. I got someone in my corner now! My greatest wish, my dream come true, My K.B! iI love you so much big King. There is no part of my heart that i want to withhold from you Big King. i would gladly give my life to the fullest for you. ( Pause for now, it is almost 10 pm and a wave of tiredness a hit me yah Bruh) Love you.
Aeranwon Pregnancy Center:
Me say! the level of insincerity of the staff at Aeranwon just boggles my mind. This busybody counselor that wanted to book me to see a psychiatrist yet wouldn’t buy some cornflakes, has now gone ahead and booked me to see a pediatrician. I was more receptive about the pediatrician since i was panicking about breastfeeding. This counselor then invites herself into my appointment, this is after she said she did not need to come because the doctor spoke english. Then next thing i hear is that they have booked me with a Korean-speaking doctor because the English-speaking doctor is not available. Anyway, we go to the doctor and the doctor says resolutely that i should press through with my breastfeeding and just let the baby suck as often and as much as she likes even if it seems like the breast is empty. He said the more she sucks the more it will trigger more milk to increase production. Don’t fret…. just stick the titty into the baby’s mouth-not his exact words but it was his drift. The doctor also prescribed a 1 week supply of pills to stimulate milk production faster, since Kaleeyon sucks so much. The doctor did not even look at Kaleeyon. All the time the Korean counsellor is translating what the doctor is saying. She then goes on to say something to the doctor which she doesn’t translate. We then go to fill the prescription. After she filled the prescription she told me that she doubled the number of pills to last me two weeks instead of one week. She says she did it to help me, in case i need extra help in the future, mind you the doctor said this was some powerful stuff so i should just take one week’s supply. Anyway, I was so panicked about Kaleeyon and breastfeeding that i didn’t think it through and i was even appreciative. I was like
” Yeah good idea, ’cause i still have four to five months left before Kaleeyon can start eating any solid food. What if her appetite jumps up again? We are only at month two here! i got to carry my Turbo Chuggy to the end of the line!”
So i am feeling appreciative of her foresight- only to figure out that the bitch only wanted to pad up the doctor’s bill as much as possible to increase her commissions.
Somethings I still can’t figure out babes re Aeranwon Pregnancy Center.
i get it that it is probably the managers and staff at Aeranwon doing the unsavory practices to get higher commissions. What I don’t understand yet is if the owners or board of directors are in on it. At first, i thought yes, the directors/owners of Aeranwon must be in on the scam, because if you incentivize your staff to push heavy medical bills then you must be in on it. I mean why would you be taking your hard-earned donation money and spending it on unnecessary medical bills?
I mean i am in my right mind and they wanted to force me to see a psychiatrist when all i have been asking for is some more food since i am breastfeeding and doing so much physical activity- taking care of the baby, walking up and down the hill three times per day, plus barely any sleep. No wonder I am having problems producing enough milk for growing Kaleeyon!
I then started looking over their financials, they have a yearly book that they put out and show to potential donors who come to the center. So I started looking over their financials at the back of the book, and from what I see they do rely heavily on private donations and not government donations ( unless they have separate financial statements for government donations but I did not see any). So why would you take private donations and waste it so much on silly medical bills, inflated medical bills?
The only answer is that the very owners or directors of Aeranwon are also the owners of the specific medical practices that they take us, pregnant mothers, to. It is always a private practice that they take us to. it is never government hospitals. The only time we went to a public hospital was for the mandatory Covid tests for everyone in Seoul.
They keep convincing mothers to induce their babies very early and then beef up the medical bill with incubator rental fees because the baby came too early. they wanted to pressure me into inducing too, but i said no over and over again. They even booked me into the hospital three weeks earlier than Kaleeyon’s expected date, trying to pressure me into inducing, acting like if we didn’t induce her something might go wrong. They messed with the wrong chick! The very day that they wanted to induce Kaleeyon was the very day that she came naturally and i pushed her out in less than an hour. The doctor was so frightened he had to catch her with how fast she came out! lmao.
Now that i think about it private donations are probably sweeter than government donations. Private donors are not going to scrutinize and audit you after they donate. They are so trusting. yes, i think it’s something like that…the board of directors owns the private practices, so they create policies to push the staff to inflate and even harm the babies so that they have more medical needs. That’s why they created a whole outreach for migrant women and foreign refugees who are pregnant- who is going to care about an illegal migrant’s baby or a poor migrant’s under-developed baby caused by early induction? Who would believe their report? They are so grateful for the help and convinced of Aeranwon’s kindness that they would never suspect that all this is going on. They would never suspect the diabolical wickedness, the insincerity of these counselors or this organization! they have their scheme well rehearsed.
Anyway as i expected, in their financials their biggest expense is of course, medical expenses. Once they have gotten you to induce your baby and there is no more heavy medical expenses to milk, they stop being nice to you, become dismissive and avoidant of giving any more help with food and supplies etc. They pull their tricks on the Korean mothers too but they will continue to help them with food and supplies months after the baby is born.
Anyway, I am so excited to get your letter telling me about what happened in court. I need more stamps, I only have two left. Kaleeyon is so cute, I can’t even blame Keilah for wanting to be all up in her face. When Keilah is sleeping exactly how I behave except I am more gentle, our baby is so cute, kiss her neck, rub her cheeks!
Miss you so much Big King, Bye for now
Your Forever Companion Through Life
Sher
