I have three children on my bicycle on the way to the beach, and the day already feels rich. Keilah is old enough to ask difficult questions. Kaleeyon has the delightful confidence of a child who will draw anything she imagines. Baby Kezidek has joined this travelling family as if he has always known its schedule. Behind us is our home in Prado, Bahia, where Sher is likely turning another small observation into an architectural species, and ahead of us is the sea. We are building a civilization and still making time to get wet.

Some people imagine the founding of a civilization as a procession of dignitaries, speeches, financiers and polished stone. Ours frequently looks like a child calling for Daddy, Sher working on a design with a baby at her breast, a meal cooking while we discuss renewable energy, or five people laughing because one burner has somehow become responsible for an entire day’s food. We do not make our children wait for the completed world before we let them enjoy us. Their childhood is part of the civilization’s first production.

Keilah once had to begin a school year without the new shoes she wanted. When a child hears us call ourselves the world’s wealthiest family, naturally she wants to know why a purchase must wait. It is a marvelous question. I explain the wealth we are creating and the difference between the money a parent can spend this morning and the value of an entire civilization’s ability to nourish, house, transport, teach and delight its people. I also know that a child wants her shoes. The little practical details are exactly why our designs have to make life work.

Now watch Sher with a child. She notices where the child has to wait, where the child wants to go alone, where the mother’s hands are occupied, where the wash water travels, where a tree could feed people, where a veranda could turn a chore into a pleasant afternoon. She can look at a beautiful structure, find the work it imposes on a family, and redesign the whole thing before most people have noticed the inconvenience. Watching her is one of the finest entertainments of my life.

We were married before God a week after meeting in August 2013. That decision began an astonishing love affair. People speak about renewable energy as though the idea should stop at electricity. In this family, love renews. We have found fresh reasons to admire one another in Jamaica, Miami, Istanbul, Trabzon, Alanya, Korea and Brazil. Sher has seen me become an engineer, lifeguard, teacher, publisher, language learner, software developer and father; I have watched her become ever more herself as an author, mother, steward, designer and world ruler. There is no boredom in a marriage where you keep discovering the person you chose.

This is the story of how the Trott Bailey Family learned to build its own world. It includes grief and injustice, magnificent people and delicious food, research and romance, public victories and private jokes. Wherever the journey took us, we asked what was possible there and what would make that possibility available to more families. The answers became our civilization.